Stress is the NEW Smoking: 7 Secrets to Manage Stress

In my last article I talked about stress, anxiety, and hidden emotions. This week I'd like to explore the body/mind connection of stress and how to combat it in our lives. But before we do that, just a reminder, not all stress is bad.  Not everyone is stressed by the same stressors.  It is a complicated process which means we can't give definitive answers to many of the general questions like: why do we get stressed or how can we stop it.  What we can do is be aware of what is going on in our own minds and work toward mediating how that affects us.

Just in time for mental health awareness month, I've found there is more and more evidence linking stress to all manner of diseases. While there is a new catch phrase, "Sitting is the new smoking", I'd say stress is too.  Since smoking has been on the decline for almost a decade now, and people are hearing all about eating right and exercise, we've gotten complacent in dealing with harmful influences to our health that are more insidious than one might first think.  Not too mention harder to define and eliminate which makes them less researched.  One of the best books on the subject of how bad stress is for you, is by Dr. Gabor Mate, "When Your Body Says No."

Here is some of what we do know. (Salleh M. R. 2008) "Studies have shown that short-term stress boosted the immune system, but chronic stress has a significant effect on the immune system that ultimately manifest an illness...The morbidity and mortality due to stress-related illness is alarming. Emotional stress is a major contributing factor to the six leading causes of death in the United States: cancer, coronary heart disease, accidental injuries, respiratory disorders, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide.

Since I could write pages on how stress affects our health but that would not give you any practical help, I'm going to skip all that and assume you believe me that stress is harming your health and instead jump to how to treat stress. Here are the 7 secrets to managing stress:

1. Prayer combined with trusting in God and awareness of oneself (or mindfulness meditation)
2. Exercise
3. Healthy diet (plant based or Mediterranean is best)
4. CBT Therapy (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)
5. Rest (sleep, recreation, etc.)
6. Social activity (both social support & doing something for someone else)
7. Identify and limit/reduce stressors

So these are not in any kind of order of importance, in fact, I recommend you start with the ones easiest for you so you can reap the benefits as quickly as possible. Each of these has many benefits beyond stress management and there is much that can be said of them. Years ago, like a couple decades, LOL, I helped with a stop smoking program and these 7 were used successfully in helping people to quit smoking too! Of course number 7 was identify and limit/reduce temptations/triggers but all in all very similar. I do have a free course that covers most of these called Optimal Health, you can take it here.

The first one on the list is often reported as mindfulness mediation in most articles on stress but Dr. Nedley and others have reworded this for Christians. And the research backs up prayer as the alternative to mindfulness meditation. Keep in mind this is not the same as the hypnotic meditation one sees in new age religions.  It is an active form, where one is aware of what is going on around them.  There is plenty of help out there and it's not my forte so I'll leave that to other experts. I'm more familiar with the Christian version. This is more than just prayer. It is a three fold combination: faith/trust in God, self-examination, and prayer.

Exercise is pretty self-explanatory, but I'd add that getting outside is even better. Any amount will help, but there is a thing as too much which can add stress to the body. If you are unsure, do some research or talk to a fitness expert. In general, the recommendations are 30 to 60 minutes 3 to 5 times per week. More for those with sitting jobs and obviously far less if you are a general laborer. We often know what we need once we are willing to honestly look at it.
Healthy diet includes lots of fruit, veggies, whole grains, nuts, seeds, legumes, and limiting free fats, added sugars, and processed foods.

CBT, or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, is well researched and documented to help with stress even that caused by circumstances. It also helps deal with painful emotions. I would say this is by far THE MOST important tip, step, key, or whatever you want to call it.  In fact many studies show CBT to be as or even more effective than drugs for depression and anxiety, and far more long lasting because drugs don't cure, they treat the symptoms. Once you learn to use CBT for yourself it lasts a lifetime.  Now there are lots of resources out there and it can look pretty easy but there are some very important features that take real work to make practical for yourself, yet reading self help books such as Dr. David Burns, "Feeling Good", have been proven in research to be effective. In fact in one study more effective than taking drugs.  Having said that not everyone will find relief reading a book, about 1/3 still needed professional help to really apply the principles of CBT, so no shame in talking to someone about that.

Rest is another important key in reducing the effects of stress as well as helping you cope better with stressors.  Getting a good nights sleep, healthy recreation, and taking time to slow down even for just a few minutes a day are all great starting places.

Social activity not only helps you work through stressors like grief and loss, or life changing events, good or bad, but helping others is a proven way to improve your health. Volunteering has been shown to add up to 7 years to ones life and improve the overall quality of aging.

Lastly we have the most obvious of the 7 secrets, identify and reduce stressors.  This one will take some introspection and you can combine it with the first one, prayer.  Taking a few minutes each day to think about what caused you the most anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, fear, annoyance, feeling overwhelmed, etc.  You might even find some things bother you more on certain days.  Sometimes we can cope with circumstances better than other times.  Keep track.  Then are there some you can reduce? Are you spending more than you earn?  What is contributing to your time management issues?

If you want more help with CBT or working out identifying and reducing stressors, join me for a free 15 minute consultation

 

Sources:

• Salleh M. R. (2008). Life event, stress and illness. The Malaysian journal of medical sciences : MJMS, 15(4), 9–18.
• Griffin, R. M. (n.d.). 10 Stress-Related Health Problems That You Can Fix. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/features/10-fixable-stress-related-health-problems#1
• Agnvall, E. (2014, November 01). Stress and Disease - Conditions that May Be Caused by Chronic Stress. Retrieved from https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-2014/stress-and-disease.html
• Kandola, A. (n.d.). Chronic stress: Symptoms, health effects, and how to manage it. Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323324.php
• Nordqvist, C. (2017, November 28). Stress: Why does it happen and how can we manage it? Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/145855.php
• Kandola, A. (n.d.). Why do I keep getting sick? Causes and what to do. Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324842.php

Imagined Grief/Worry/Concern Has Real Effects

There I sat one morning, crying. Nothing had happened yet. The day was still ahead of me, same as the day before. The to do list sitting on my computer. The cat snuggled up on my lap. Me trying to wake up at 5 AM. But this morning a few tears flowed even though "nothing" had happened...yet. 

While anticipatory grief refers to grieving before an event is finalized, such as getting a cancer diagnosis or other terminal illness, we can even experience bouts of grief based on what we think the answer to a test result might be. Our brains interpret what we believe as a real event. If are thinking that this might really happen, we start processing as if it already has. Much like when watching TV, your brain doesn't know it's fake or artificial.  The emotions you experience are very real.

For me that morning, it was waiting on a diagnosis for my father. I’m still waiting as I write this. No matter, the stress is real in any case. Learning to cope effectively with these kind of events is the reality of our modern age. So much of what we experience is "artificial." I'm not sure that's even the right word since we are in uncharted waters. Gone are the days when two months later a letter came in the mail that your spouse died on the battlefield. Now at every newsflash your heart quakes with worry, was that near his/her posting? Gone are the days when you went on with life, frequently thinking about your children, hoping they were doing well across the country as they started a new life for themselves. Now, we obsessively check Facebook and worry when our texts are not returned in a few minutes. We don't have to wait for news to come by pony or even postal truck, now we are connected to the entire world 24/7. 

Stressors are at an all-time high in our artificial world. It’s artificial in the sense that the event hasn’t happened yet, we are being bombarded by information that may or may not be relevant or real.  Millions of us watch a fake, make up world on fictional television. Even our social interactions on social media is partly artificial because we don’t express exactly what is going on but rather share cherry picked pictures and ideas.   

Our brains and bodies have to adapt to whole new world in this fast modern digital age. So how can we cope? How can we take back control from the flood of information that changes our perception of reality, even if reality hasn’t changed? Step back. Give yourself time away from all the banter, the electronics, the world. Spend a few minutes in a natural, real environment. Walk the dog in a park, do some gardening, bake some cookies, have tea with a neighbor, take up sewing, the list is just about endless. Do something outside in nature adds some other health benefits, but there’s a lot you can do even in your own home. Brainstorm what would be helpful for you. The only parameters, you need to enjoy it, it must be something in the moment and physical or tangible. 

What about those moments of sadness, worry, or stress when we are just thinking of what might be? Well, those emotions are real even if the event isn’t. Embrace it for a moment, then work on your thoughts. Deal with any distortions you might be having. Make sure you’re not catastrophizing, making it bigger than it is in this moment, or overgeneralizing, i.e. this one event ruins my entire life (a future event can't take away your past). More on clearer thinking here. Right now you’re worried and you have every right to feel stressed and concerned. Whether the test results are for you or for family member. Or maybe you’re at dissipating grief for some other reason in any case embrace the moment and move through it. For more on anticipatory grief check out my previous blog article here.

PS: You are always welcome to chat with me. I offer a free 15 minute consultation. 

 

The 3 Dangers of Healthy Diets

Let me say right now, a plant based diet is scientifically the most beneficial diet on the plant for your health and the environment and this article is not about changing your mind on eating right.  Last time I did a eye catchy tag line, I was roasted because people didn't even read the article. Read on please because we all know there are factors in all the choices we make that can lead in a wrong direction even when we are walking the right way.

The first danger in keeping any diet, even a healthy one, long term is getting into a rut.  Eating the same foods day after day with limited variety is usually not a safe bet for optimal nutrition.  When we first start a diet, we are excited about the positive change we are making.  We learn all kinds of new recipes, trading them with friends, and posting them on social media.  Then we start to get overwhelmed by all the options or we just get so busy we just recycle a few chosen favourites.  We can avoid this danger by refreshing our recipe box.  Another way to bring newest to life to a diet stuck in a rut is to share it with someone else.  When we share the benefits of a healthy diet, we become rejuvenated ourselves.

The second danger in keeping a diet is the guilt or emotional stress when you make a mistake or if you get bored or tempted to cheat.  One study revealed many vegans return to their old diets. It's not just because they become disenfranchised with it's benefits but rather they feel bad when they fail, they  and eventually just give up all together.  When we put undue restrictions on ourselves and others, we create a poor environment for change.  Some are even mean about those who fall of the diet wagon and criticize them.

That leads me to the third danger in keeping a diet, getting married to the idea of it.  When we make a diet part of who we are, we can becoming pretty critical of others who have a different view. We can find ourselves putting down other healthy diet options that may not be as good but are still better than most. There is NO ONE diet that meets everyone's needs.  When we make food a god, we are in real danger of hurting those we love and even ourselves.

The best way to deal with the last two dangers, is to keep the long term objective in focus. Why did you start the diet in the first place?  What benefits does it have? Are you eating it in the best way, i.e. with variety, proper calorie intake, etc.?

I fell into all three of these traps.  I am refocusing and recommitting myself to eating a plant based diet.  Many of my long term viewers know I've been a flexitarian for a couple years, but today I am renewing my resolve to finding more variety in my low FODMAP diet while keeping it plant based.

Cheers,
Angela Poch

5 Secrets of Self-Awareness and Why It's Important To Be Mindful

Of course I'm aware of myself.  Are you sure?  Often life gets so busy we run around making decisions, trying to get one last thing accomplished before the next thing on the agenda, that we really don't realize what is going on inside.  We go and go until all of a sudden we notice we are anxious, worried, stressed, hurt, frustrated, upset, or even angry, Then we either blame the last thing that happen or the last person who was in our path.  We wrongly assume it's our bad day and all the things that went wrong that are making our lives miserable.

A better way is to recognized what is going on before our minds retaliate from the pressure with an emotional outburst. There are 5 secrets to self-awareness, each with a particular purpose to guide you to be intune with your own thoughts and what is going on around you to affect how you feel. They are:

1. Learn your symptoms.
2. Know your triggers.
3. Be conscious of your physical health.
4. Pause for cause or mindfulness. 
5. Analyze your thoughts.

Learn your symptoms when you are feeling overwhelmed or not coping well with what life is throwing at you.  What are the warning signs you notice? We each have different ones, but some of the common ones friends have shared with me are: 

• feeling rushed or actually rushing around.
• self-talk such as "I can't take one more thing", "How many things will go wrong today", "I can't believe this keeps happening to me", "It's so unfair", or other messages you tell yourself.
• pre-emotions or the start of negative emotions slowly creeping in.

Know your triggers. What tends to get your goat? What makes you less likely to cope? What sets you off? Again, these will vary from person to person.  For me, it's little things that I do wrong or forget to do.  As a recovering perfectionist, I am very hard on myself and when the cake is not as fluffy as I like, then the vegan butter is gone and I only have regular so I have to invite a substitute, then the dog tracks mud onto the floor I just washed and I don't have time to fix it, then... you get the idea. For others it's when a certain person repeatedly does or says a particular thing, or when the boss asks for a particular task to be done.  Think about what are your triggers? 

Be conscious of your physical health.  Are you hungry, tired, or hurting?  Adding a negative physical symptom can push us over the edge sooner than at times where we are feeling on top of the world.  Sometimes physical symptoms warn us we are doing too much or we are not coping well with life events. Do you get headaches, stomach aches, muscle pain?  Are you tired today, or more tired than usual?  Have you skipped a meal?  Being aware of your physical body helps to be aware of what is going on in your mind.

You may have heard the term 'mindfulness' around these days.  This is a state of being mindful or aware of what is going on right now.  When you notice you are not coping well, or you see a trigger coming, pause to see how it's affecting you. You can even pause for cause.  Just take a time out once in awhile through the day to check in with yourself. Is anything causing you to be thinking negatively, do you have any physical symptoms, are you starting to feel one of your symptoms.  Taking 30 seconds will not affect your schedule.  Well, actually maybe it will. Maybe if you take that 30 seconds now you'll prevent an emotional system crash that will ruin an hour or two, or even the rest of your day.

Analyze your thoughts is our last of the 5 secrets of self-awareness. Just like it takes time to get to know a new person, we need time to learn about ourselves.  In fact, meeting a new person is sometimes easier because we have questions we often ask to get to know them, where are you from, how long have you lived here, etc.  We can also ask ourselves questions to know what state we are in right now. How am I feeling right now? Is there something I need to let go of or deal with?  What am I thinking about? The more you talk to yourself, the more you get to know yourself. 

Being self-aware can prevent you from having a meltdown or getting burned out.  It can help you to see the bus coming before you get run over so you can get out of your own way and have a happy day.  

The Secret Behind Which is Healthier, Worry or Concern

Worry is defined as: allowing one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles, a state of anxiety and uncertainty over potential or future problems.  Anxiety is fast becoming a major risk factor for health problems.  Over 30% of Americans and Canadians will experience more than just worry, they will have an anxiety disorder. One study claims 86% of Brits are worriers, worrying about something almost 2 hours every day. Ok, we worry, so what?

Flight, Fight, or Freeze. Worry harms your body. by increasing stress hormones that have nowhere to go because you really don't need them. You generally don't need to run from a flash flood, freeze to avoid getting attacked by a bear, or fight off an attacker.  These hormones, such as cortisol, wreak havoc in the body when they are not put to work.  This can cause: 

• Suppression of the immune system
• Digestive disorders
• Muscle tension
• Short-term memory loss
• Premature coronary artery disease
• Heart attack. 

So, what if you have nothing to worry about.  Just image it right now.  Not a care in the world. No more worries.  Sounds great? Sure it would. What if you never had to worry again, what would that look like?

• Peaceful
• Restful
• Wonderful?

Maybe...maybe not.  If you had nothing to worry about what would that say about you? Indifferent, uncaring?  If you didn't worry about your kids would that be good parenting? So, what's the answer?  Find less things to worry about? That would be nice and even possible depending on your circumstances.  But there is a way to show we love others, be caring, and deal with life's ups and downs without so much worry.  What's the secret?

Redefining how we label it.  What?!  How will that help?  For a minute think about these two statements: "I care about my kids." vs "I worry about my kids."  As you ponder these, do they give you a different feeling?  Words matter.  Words bring up various emotions in us.  We can be concerned about important things in our lives without worrying about the things we can't control.

Worry and anxiety are about future events.  I don't know about you, but I can't control the future.  I'm mean, I've tried.  All I can do is make decisions based on current information and projected risk/rewards.  My concern for the value of certain people or things in my life factor into those decisions, but I need not worry about the things beyond my choices.

Matt 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

If you need help reframing things that cause you worry, I highly recommend the book "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns.  Available at most bookstores.  We also offer one-on-one CBT coaching that can help you reduce worry and turn the rest into a more productive and healthy form of concern. Visit our website for details.

References:

“Any Anxiety Disorder.” National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder.shtml.

Marie Claire. “Why Adults Worry; Anxiety Statistics In Adults.” Marie Claire, Marie Claire, 3 Sept. 2015, www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/health-fitness/86-per-cent-of-adults-are-worriers-51597.

“What Worrying Does to Your Health.” Daily Mail Online, Associated Newspapers, 26 Apr. 2002, www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-97853/What-worrying-does-health.html.

“How Worrying Affects the Body.” WebMD, WebMD, www.webmd.com/balance/guide/how-worrying-affects-your-body#1.

Having a Bad Day, is Ok!

We all have days we want to just stay in bed.  Or days, where we can’t stay in bed, because of our minds are racing going over all the things we should have done, wish we could do, and so on.  Days that are just off, or days that are stressful, days were we worry too much.  Dr. David Burns states, “One minute of feeling upset is okay. Or an hour, a day, or a week. But I don’t want my patients to have to struggle with weeks, months, years or decades of misery.  I always tell my patients that we are all entitled to five happy days per week. If you aren’t having your five happy days, you need a little mental “tune-up! But if you’re having more than five happy days per week, that could be a problem,…” Blog post 2017-03-10, “Feeling Good” retrieved 2018-05-30 from: https://feelinggood.com/2017/03/10/is-it-possible-to-be-happy-all-the-time/

I had one of those days recently.  I am currently in a life transition and I find myself worrying about things I care about like friends and family who are struggling with life issues.  What if you listed all the good things about your sadness, stress, or anxiety? Like this: my worry about my friends and family says I care, I love them.  It reveals my thoughts are of them and I want what’s good for them.  It reminds me to make them a priority and not let life just float past.  These are all positive things and since my worry only lasts a day or two, I can accept and embrace it instead of being more anxious because I have a little worry in my life. 

Fear of fear, anxious of worry, frustrated about being angry. Worrying about negative feelings is a curse we all face at some point.  Maybe we recognize it, maybe we don’t.  Understanding that negative feelings are not all bad is a great step in finding true inner peace and happiness.  Struggles are part of life, and in fact, often make us better people.  They can remind us to look outside ourselves for a source of strength we can rely on, like spirituality.  For me that is a loving creator God.  What is your external strength? Can you rely on it?

Visit www.BodyMindHealthCoach.com and take our free course “Optimal Health” to learn more about the science of spirituality and how it affects your happiness, quality of life, and how long you live.

Coping With Information Overload

I had a client recently who came to me to learn more about plant based nutrition, as many do.  They had concerns about whether or not they were eating right because of various symptoms they had.  In the course of our sessions, she discovered one of her biggest issues was actually information overload.  While, she did need help with menu planning, the heart of the matter wasn't food but rather trying to wade through all the things in her life that demanded her attention.  Believe it or not, information can put some of most intense demands on you.

We are constantly bombarded with a myriad of useless facts, family updates, intense controversies, pseudoscience, and more on social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Google.  Add to that shopping, like cereal choices at the grocery store, choices on which store to shop at, keeping track of sales, etc. and that's only TWO aspects of your life that flood you with information.  What about work, recreation, family, and other more important parts of life?

This all adds up to stress or stressors that are all around us every day, day after day.  How do we cope with this flood of facts, stories, questions, decisions?  It will vary from person to person.  You may choose to limit the time you spend online, for example I only go on Facebook a couple times a week. Or limit the sources you know to be accurate so you're not spending more time trying to figure out if what you are reading is true or false. These help me tremendously.  Others find meditation or relaxation techniques helpful.

Learn more about stress and stress management with our online course "Cooling Down Stress" which comes with an e-book and videos, regular priced $100, SALE 90% off, for only $10 OR get all our courses for $1 for one month.  Use coupon: blog90 when you check out. Click here to learn more.

Angela Poch, CN