Amendment: So I’ve had some really positive comments on this article in another forum. But I also had a really important constructive criticism so I'm adding 3 key points to remember as you read it.
1. This article is intended for the reader themself, not to be used as a tool to criticize other people for being critical.
2. There’s something called logic fallacies. One of those is when the opposite of a fact is also a fact. This is often not the case in reality. Example; Fact: carnivores have canine teeth. But the reverse is not true. Thus having canine teeth does not make something a carnivore. For example gorillas and camels among others, have canines and they are herbivores.
3, Just because something is a risk factor does NOT make it a
cause. Example: "Moderate alcohol consumption has been linked to an approximate 30-50% increased risk in breast cancer."* But the alcohol does not cause breast
cancer. Nor is it valid or helpful to blame women with breast cancer for
drinking a glass of wine at their meal.
4. Poor health and disruption in happiness is not our fault because we are not "positive" enough. There is an unfair system (sin) at place in our world, where often the person who is hurting has to do work to alleviate their own suffering even though it may not be their fault they are hurting in the first place. Life can suck, but it doesn't have to stay that way.
5. My humorous look, intentionally overgeneralized, at some tools for cognitive behaviour therapy are not to be
taken as rooted in some kind of all or nothing factual science. In fact doing
so is a distortion in and of itself. My intention in this article is to look at oneself from a different perspective using humour, because humour can often be quite therapeutic when doing self reflection. We can be pretty hard on ourselves and I was hoping to alleviate some of that pressure by getting you to laugh at some of the mistakes that you might be making. But in no way would I want to shame anyone who is struggling with a critical attitude or denial or any of those things, in fact others may think you are being critical when you are just being honest. That is there misunderstanding not a reflection on your character. I myself have struggled with many of the items in the follow list. I think that’s why I found it so relevant to me personally and why found so much humour in it.
If
you can’t hold it in, then complain. Complaining is a great way to stay grumpy.
After all you’re just telling people the truth. I mean isn’t honesty the best
policy? In fact, I highly recommend journaling. List all the problems you’re
having and how miserable each one makes you feel. That way whenever you get a
little too positive or happy, you can go back and rehash old grudges.
Mope.
Moping lets the body know the correct position to be in when you’re feeling terrible.
There’s nothing worse than a hypocrite, like someone smiling when they’re
miserable inside. So it’s much better to mope because you’re being honest with the
world around you.
Notice
honesty has come up a few times. Being right is the best way to keep your
relationships on the rocks and protect you from being vulnerable. After all
when your always right it’s really hard for other people to live up to your
expectations and that can increase your suffering tremendously.
Blame
yourself and others. A good place to start is blaming others, that’s usually
easier than blaming yourself. Well it does depend on your personality, and
either one works pretty good. Blaming others takes all the responsibility off
your shoulders, and since you’re not responsible you can’t fix it. Blaming
others takes the pressure off you from having to make yourself miserable
because people often hurt us and do us wrong. Remember since you are right, they must be
wrong. That’s just logical.
Of
course if you have a hard time blaming others, then you can always turn to
blaming yourself. This is also quite effective because it acknowledges the fact
that you’re an idiot, a failure, and since you are those things there’s no
point in trying to fix anything. It’s
just who you are and this will just continue to go on forever.
Minimize
the positive. Those happy thoughts thinkers with all their foo foo fluff just
don’t know reality. If you minimize positive things that you or others do, it
helps put everything more in context of reality. It certainly won’t last. Nothing
good lasts forever.
Accentuate
the negative. You could even exaggerate a little bit. I mean come on, realistically who doesn’t get
that when you’re feeling miserable and grumpy, exaggeration is probably more truthful
than saying it exactly the way it is. Here’s and example, I’ve got such a
headache feel like my heads going to explode. I mean it’s not really going to
explode, but you’ve got articulate it well so people get how you’re feeling.
Trust
your emotions. Oh this is a good one. Your emotions are really going to tell
you how you should be feeling and thinking. Just go with your gut, go with your
heart, that’ll really stop all your positive thinking. I mean if you feel
miserable you must be miserable. If you’re feeling lonely you must be alone. You can’t trust that someone sitting beside
you is really going to be there for you. I mean obviously they’re not doing
enough to make you feel part of the group. Oh I guess I’m combining blame here.
Well that’s great to show you can combine several of these to make them far
more effective in staying miserable.
Remember,
if it’s ever happened once, somewhere, to someone, it can happen to you. That’s
right if it’s possible it’s probable. There’s at least one person out there who
got run over by a truck while sitting in their living room. You should worry
about that every time you sit down to enjoy watching some TV. I mean sure,
they’d have to drive on the sidewalk, across the lawn, and through the house wall,
but it’s possible right? And I mean if we’re going to be positive, we need to
be positive that the possible can happen. That leads me to the next one.
If
it’s happened before it’s going to happen again. If you found a hair in your
food three times in a row, then you can certainly conclude every time you eat
out there will be a hair in it. This is a good one to combine with our last one
“if it’s possible it’s probable”. After all if bacteria can be on hair, and you
found hair in your food three times, you better watch out for flesh eating
bacteria in your burger. This tip can add much anxiety to your miserable
grumpiness which is a bonus.
Label
everything. Now I don’t mean with stickers. Of course you could do that which
would take up time and anything that waste your time helps to make you
miserable because you’ve wasted time. But what I’m talking here is labelling
people or yourself. You see when you label something it really encapsulates
what it is at its core. I mean someone didn’t just spilled the milk they are a
slob. You didn’t just fail the one test, you are an absolute failure. See how
much worse that sounds, there’s great material here for feeling miserable.
I
think those tips should really help you to suffer and stay miserable. But if
this course really wasn’t right for you then might I suggest the reverse of
these? I also recommend reading Dr. David Burn’s best selling book, “Feeling Good” or listen to his podcasts. But
I warn you that won’t do much to help you feel grumpy.
OR Get our NEW e-book "The Truth Shall Set You Free" - click here!
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* McDonald, Jasmine A, et al. “Alcohol Intake and Breast Cancer Risk: Weighing the Overall Evidence.” Current Breast Cancer Reports, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Sept. 2013, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3832299/.
OR Get our NEW e-book "The Truth Shall Set You Free" - click here!
https://angelapoch.com/